Benefits of Running

Have I mentioned that running ain't no fun? Well, it isn't. And I hate it. But I think I have finally tapped into a few of the benefits of running that runners are always telling you about.

Inspiration - Some runners will tell you that it clears out all the stress and there is a moment of mental clarity while running.  In this moment of free thinking, precision and accurate thoughts flow like sweat down my throbbing forehead.  Thus was my experience this morning. Allow me to share my insights.

I had never considered a military career.  I don't like people screaming, I don't like them screaming at me, I don't like blood, I don't like getting up early (I now realize that all of this happens to you when you become a parent) and I don't like running. I had seen plenty of war shows to make me believe that your life in the military was just a whole lot of all of the above. I wondered why the military didn't change tactics.  It seemed to me that a lot more people would enlist if it wasn't a whole lot of "You lazy, stupid maggot! I'm sick of looking at your ugly face, now go run a hundred miles!"

My revelation came today in that every job asks a skill of its employee.  whether that is a skill or a training or a talent.  Boiled down to the core of things, the military just needs a life as collateral. Your job is to put your life on the line.  I always wondered if I would be able to do that. But then I realized that running is horrible.  If my commander told me to charge into a barrage of bullets I would say "Sir, will you still make me run if I am dead?" and he will say "Hell no son!" and I would say "Fix bayonets! Let's go get 'em boys! Hoorah!"

Endurance - I don't know that running has made me any more healthy.  But when I am doing something that is miserable, like digging a post hole, cleaning a toilet or watching a musical, I can endure through the ordeal much better because I think to myself "Yeah sure this sucks, but just think how terrible we feel when we are running" and I find I am able to refocus and push through any punishment.

More relaxing sleep - I would say I spend a good 90% of my run repeating this to myself to the beat of my cadence "Ow, Ow, Stop, this hurts, Ow, ow, I want to be at home in bed asleep..."  Repeat that to yourself over and over for an hour.  When you do finally get a chance to sleep, you had better bet your body will savor it's pain-free slumber.

I can't remember, did I mention that running ain't no fun?