Sunday, July 18, 2010

The journey begins

Andy Bernard tapes his nipples in preparation for the Michael Scott’s Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run

I always strive to understand people. I find I respect them more when I see how they tick. I have repeatedly failed to understand runners. When I run I hurt all over. With every fiber of my aching body, I want to stop. A certain part of my brain repeatedly asks "So... why are we running? Hey, I don't see a bear chasing us. Is there an ax murderer? A bomb? Donny Osmond? What? Why are we running?" I never have a good answer for that part of my brain when I run.

So, in a quest to understand the runner, I am preparing to go a mile in his shoes. Well, not just one mile. 200 miles. All of them running -- or mostly running interspersed with slow ambling and heavy panting trying to figure out why I am doing this again.

Why am I doing this? I think running is awful. I don't wish the activity upon the most willing of participants. Yet I still see runners out plodding along, looking miserable, everywhere. For every runner, I am sure there are 10 people sitting at home wondering the same thing I do. Why, why, why, for the love of reclining couches, do people run? For those 10 people, I'm your guy. I care so much about you, that I am willing to run so that you don't have to. I am wandering into this house of horrors and will return with a complete report, so that you my friend can know exactly what is in there without actually having to place one running shoe in that sadistic mad house.

Starting tomorrow morning I will run a minimum of 5 miles/day, at least 4 days a week until I finally have notched 200 miles. You stay there in your chair and I will do my best to relive the horrors of such an endeavor. Why am I starting this just before my wife will be very shortly delivering twins? When do I think I will have time to sleep, let alone run? Why am I doing this again? These are all good questions. I am positively void of any solid answers. All I can say is that I do many things that lack linear logic or, any thought processes at all. I'm like a tire. That's how I roll.

As always, your eternal blogosphere friend,

Sterling

2 comments:

  1. Christopher Columbus, Neil Armstrong, The Star Trek Enterprise, and now Sterling Ungerman.

    Let us know how the journey goes. I'll be working my right arm as I reach over to extend the foot rest on my Lazy boy.

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  2. Ahh..one of life's great mysteries. Why do people run? Thank you for tackling this question for the rest of us slackers. My only fear is that in your quest to understand the madness, you will succumb and turn into "one of those crazies". Like T-Rev, I will be cheering from the sidelines but I'll have a Dr. Pepper in hand. Good Luck to both you and Mandy.

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